Unpredictable journey

It was a moment of vigorous pleasure and enthusiastic enjoyment for me and my cousin to hear our BCSE examination result from our brother through phone.  Of course, both of us gave our best shot but still worried  as concoction of feelings aroused in our mind as what if the result unexpectedly turned out brutal. These kind of feelings always meandered in our mind and kept us in a heart throbbing state throughout the whole winter vacation. There was always a period of curious fear and worries until we could breathe the air with a feeling of great relaxation. It  was a travesty of fact to say that I enjoyed the warm sleep under the heaps of quilts with worries and tensions haunting my sleep. Really, how can one be in a deep slumber with yoke of worries tightly glued in the mind. Entire winter months used to be harsh with the ice capped mountains engulfing our village sending chill air cracking our delicate skin and examination result fright was no more than a catalyst which aggravated our winter vacation. Sometimes we even tried to find solace by trying a few cups of local brew, which wasn’t actually an ultimate solution when I think it today. The news from our brother just helped us in relishing our joy for the efforts that we inputted during the entire stay in the school and a source of gladness just because, our efforts didn’t turn out futile. It was a moment for us to rejoice and brought lots of merriment not only to us but also to all the dearest ones.

From primary school itself, I heard of Doctors, Engineers, Teachers, Army-officer etc… in the class from my teachers. They wanted each and every one of us to be in either of these professions and I promptly chose Doctor without any disinclination. I decided to join in science stream to accomplish my protracted dream. Ever since my preprimary days, I was always fancied by the beautiful white Apron worn by the Hospital Staffs which made them dazzlingly white and bright among others. However, my dream of  becoming Doctor shattered and dilapidated in a blink of my eyes when I opted mathematics as my major subject. Some friends even applauded me for keeping my words and joining science stream not knowing of  I taking mathematics as the major. It was only after reaching 11^th standard that I underwent boarding life and started to aspire engineers, architecture and concisely all the professions eligible for a mathematics student. Three years of stay in UDHSS seemed like a stargaze with lively acquaintances around me and more significantly, it was there in UDHSS that I headed for something called good relationship.

The permanent and intolerable uncertainty just keeps us engaged  with various activities and daily chores. I am definite that there won’t  be a single person who is too satisfied with what he/she possesses and achieved till date. Indeed it is hard to not to think about our future as we never know what is in our way next. Sometimes, the best memories and the good things are the ones that we have to lose with great reluctance. Our mind is a sort of abstract thing that always draw a very tentative resolutions and conclusions. When I had to end my relationship, it seemed like an illusion and only then realized that life and reality is so surely a state of illusion. Upon recollecting those fond memories, can’t imagine how naïve was I to call that as a love when it didn’t last even for two years. Infact, it was nothing more than a mere infatuation. During the second year of my intermediate schooling in UDHSS, everything was all in my track and studying wasn’t a problem with no mental disturbances. Luckily I had a very hardworking group of friends who were committed studiers, always ready to sacrifice and spare their precious time for others sake too. Truly, I am still overwhelmed with the gratitude for their help and support. Time dashed so fast that I didn’t know how three years of stay in that paradise like school subsequently came to an end which gave me lots of  bliss and delight. The 12^th grade result aired me into an euphoric state despite the fact that I couldn’t get the chance to accomplish my goal that I longed to attain.  The outcome of my hard work  gave me enough delectation as I got the chance to do my UG in one of the premier institutions  of our country, Sherubtse-“The Peak of Learning”. Earnestly, it was an honor to become a part of Sherubtse family, which is in truth the dreams of almost all the youths of our country.

Sherubtse college has its own charm and illustrious reputations in academic excellence and other co-curricular activities. I can even compare this premier educational institution to a conifers with its never ending green since it endlessly imparted us with new ideas, knowledge and more importantly making our mind inquisitive. First year of my college days successfully completed without any hurdles and of course with some fear and anxious feelings as seniors were always there, patiently watching the acts and attitude of their juniors. A slightest error and deviation from the precision of their self formed norms and standards, they used to knock the door late at night, brief the luckless chap. Treating juniors like this was a contemptuous act and intolerable at times though helpless. Thank God!!for sparing me from such an awful experience. Second year also has its own charm. By then, students normally get adapted to the atmosphere of the college and it is the period whereby 2^nd year students gets to observe the spectacular dramas happening between their seniors and juniors. It is was during this time of great relaxation that I lost the track of studying, but gained experience in boozing, which eventually concluded in a dire consequences and regrettably had to miss the charm and enamor of  being a senior most

Second year in the same semester balled up everything that I was supposed to be experiencing. Sometimes, things turns out contrary to what we wish and not all the matters happens for good reason. Repetition wasn’t the room for improvement rather, got worsened. Somehow, final days out there started to alter as my distorted mind which proved strong and impossible for me to repress and control started to adore a girl. Needless to describe the decency, simplicity and tenderness, just her smile was adequate to make my day worthful and great. Now, everything is just an unexpected but vivid incident of a past experience as my dreams never turned into reality. Losing the opportunity to pursue my UG in Sherubtse isn’t a regretful moment but I just regret being a loser in other fields. Atleast, I’m contented with myself for being able to gather heaps of courage and audaciously letting the person to know about  it, though the things reciprocated from the other end. Sad endings begin every new adventure and a new life awaits me!!!!!!